India

Breaking Down Dowry: Change Your Mindset

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Hey! Waddup? Welcome to my Timeline, every time you show up to read my articles at any time of the day sights your interest for betterment. Thank you. Happy reading! 

Recently, I have been disconnected from the outside world. Every time I come across something related to social evil practices, I start questioning my entire existence in this country. The social media are jammed about Vismaya Nair, an Ayurvedic medical student who was found hanging in her bathroom. The reports said she was a victim of dowry harassment. 

But did you know? After Vismaya’s contention, two more deaths were recorded in Kerala descended from domestic violence and dowry harassment. The ill-treatment has victimized many women like Vismayas of India that candidly depicts the state or quality of being women mordant. 

I don’t further want to elaborate on basic details of the above relinquishments, you can find the information anywhere on the internet. But you must realise, the barbaric dowry system has been active and practised consciously for a long time by directly creating an unfair society for women. 

In general, the disputes that involve women results in the netizens waging war on ideologies and opinions. The verbal sparring about dowry harassment and domestic violence wrangled over everyone to stump upon the debate about gender justice entitling materialism.

 In today’s article, let’s not talk about laws, crime or who deserves justice. On second thought, let’s discuss with a deep sense of light the dowry’s role of play in the marriage.

Firstly, let’s delve into the word Dowry. Back in the medieval period, the patriarchal society encouraged women as weak sex and claimed it as a minority group by forcing them to celebrate men as supreme. 

Formerly, the dowry system was practised as “it served freedom to women.” In other words, liberation for women’s financial independence so that she doesn’t have to necessarily be under her husband’s obligation. With this view – fundamental rights and the constitution act never existed to confer equality, so it was intended to help women.

Fascinatingly, you would have come across this piece of information in your history classes. And the recent incident took place in Kerala, isn’t it? In India, Kerala is the state with the highest literacy rate. To be specific the society has established a power that has become a compulsory requirement in marriage.

Not targeting Kerala altogether but the example of this fact is used to indicate the recent incident and notify that exposure of knowledge is not helping in bringing a change. If you are wondering why I am stating it here? The below tweet was posted by Pinarayi Vijayan, Chief Minister of Kerala.

But the line of thinking prevails from the hierarchical and democratic practice of marriage involving state, family and religion. 

At the heels of receiving remarkable education, we have changed the entire collectivistic culture by distinguishing the above system as a social identity that provides communal responsibility of a family to be fulfilled. 

Society has failed to understand the concept of dowry. It is regarded as a grand gesture in the marriage ceremonies that showcases the family’s social status and wealth. But in truth dishonouring daughters and bringing shame to womanhood. 

Both men and women are not sensitized to gender bias, rather they conceive it as an opportunity – aha moment for young adults, especially few women latch on it too. It is true that women falsely belief that dowry can be their support system in marriage.

A few years back a video went viral in Tamil households. If you remember, it was the debate show (Neeya Naana) that represented young women on one side demanding a huge sum of materialisms from their mothers on the other side. 

The entire debate manifested today’s reality – individualists are escalating greedy desires and materialistic needs. Disapproving the family’s hurdles and worries unveiling the levels of ambivalent desires in some cases and few regard it as a necessity.

Secondly, it has reached to an extent, where the men are coming forward with an intent to prioritise dowry by comparing it with their job. How stupid is that? Recently, one of my close friends raged her anger about this issue. She voiced out on her Instagram stories and WhatsApp status empowering that – during her wedding, she is never offering a penny if that includes as a dowry.

Few imbecile men disregarded her opinion and outraged their anger. And I was so surprised to see the irresponsible and illogical answer that justifies – not to grill any men for the requirement of job during the marriage. Now give yourself a minute to think about it. Don’t you the dogmatic notions of male authority and female subservience must be dismantled for a transformation in society?

And it is disappointing, while one group of women is trying to imbibe zero tolerance and taking a stance to abolish these activities, on contrary, some women are laudable by demanding rampant weddings. I feel very nasty about this. 

Everybody has to come together for a change. We need to accept and transform ourselves to evolve as a better community and with interpersonal relationships that objectify to make it easier for any woman or man.

At the beginning of the article, I mentioned my scornfulness towards issues like these I want to stand up for myself since you have reached the end. As a woman, it has become hard not only to read but to voice out. These are not something new. It has been there forever now. But how long is it going to be there? How many more days should a woman keep lifting another woman?

A simple reminder, if you are commenting on this issue particularly on anybody’s status or story, I request you to understand and educate yourself first and other individual’s motives. Don’t spread hate or strong dislike to the ones trying to make a difference in society.

Ps: If this makes any sense to you, please share it with your loved ones or educate the right ones. Comment below, what you think about it? You’re welcome to share your opinions. Thank you for taking the time to read this. I hope you have a great week ahead. Much love and peace to everybody.  

Author’s Note:

Lately, I have been observing a lot of you commenting on my timeline. Thank you for those sweet words. And I appreciate you for taking the time to read and leave a comment. If you want me to write on any particular topic, please feel free to comment below. Have a great day ahead!

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