You, Will, Ruin Your 20s If You Don’t Choose Yourself!

don't ruin 20s

Hey! Thank you for making the choice to read my article. That’s wholesome. Are you geared up to begin a new week with spanking new goals? I believe the renovation of your ideas increases the potential for growth, progress and determination. So let’s start this Monday by resetting your schedule. Restart your execution of the plan of action by refocusing on the daily grind. 

Note: Today’s article consists of a story that will help you to understand the concept of wrong assistances in the course of life. 

I’m so excited for you to meet Emy Johanson. She is one of my old school friends.

Emy is a 22-year-old girl, who is currently studying engineering. I met her a few days ago and it was a huge jerk for me to understand the importance of early and late twenties. Directly or indirectly, it helps in shaping and structuring anybody’s life. Her story is going to be a helping hand for anybody who wants to understand their story in-depth and briefly. 

During my high school days, I always bumped into Emy as a good dancer. And I have seen her performing on-stages with vibrant and dynamic energy that would uplift the audience to groove on her moves. She was a very determined and passionate girl who used to stay back for extra few hours to practice. That was enthralling to see someone building and living their dreams.

I still remember the flashy memory from my English class, where we were assigned to write an essay on “where do we see ourselves 10 years from now?” From every other student’s piece of writing, Emy’s work stood out. I saw her elevating on dedication towards her passion, I still remember her face blossoming in happiness on explaining her vision. She always saw herself as an artist performing at various venues by enjoying every single day and second of what she was doing. She always said, “I wouldn’t settle for normal.”

While we were reminiscing in the good old days, I asked her how close has she reached to her dreams? And she sulked in unhappiness.

Emy’s family terribly failed to understand her passion and talent for performing. Her parents forcefully leapt into society’s conventional expectations. She desired to study in a college that offered performing arts as a course. 

But she was convinced to opt for engineering. Right now, she is strongly concerned about her parents’ decisions. Often I have spotted Emy’s friends being clueless about her dreams. Instead, I found them advising on finding a boyfriend and deceiving her to settle in life. 

She accepted the fact of conforming with her peer groups by fearing loneliness. Emy is completely disoriented from her dreams by living other schools of thought of life. I knew she wasn’t a social drinker. And today she is a different person. Her influences changed her priorities by impinging upon others’ views of life.

It’s not just Emy who gave up or stopped trying at some point, we wore her shoes by concealing and living our parents and friends expectations. Below I have stated what I discovered from few impediments through observation. All of us are confused, convinced and controlled by others.

How many of you were compelled to go to a particular college? When you didn’t want to study in that college?

How many of you are worried about not having a girlfriend or boyfriend? All these questions keep coming back to bite you, right? 

Society and social media feed rush you to believe that choosing to live others’ opinions is a social grace. 

To begin with, allowing yourself to chase your dreams tails of who you will be tomorrow. If you don’t want to do something, then don’t do it. Once Michelle Obama said, “Your story is what you have, what you will always have. It is something to own.” We are running in parallel by directing ourselves in situations and relationships that make us unhappy. 

In today’s society, the biggest flex that everybody is gushing about a doctor, lawyer or engineer that it standardizes as a noble profession by self-limiting the belief system (The potential and confidence in you go unrecognised.)

But how many of you are brimming over who you want to become in 20 years? Nobody. None of us wants to acknowledge the notion that there are infinite possibilities for your life. Recognise your true potential and be confident. 

The holy scripture of Srimad Bhagavad Gita explains four principles. The fourth principle is parmarth sahishnuta – the strong urge to convince and the concept of being persuaded by others’ opinions. 

All of us are convinced with our opinions and viewpoints. And we want all other individuals to agree on it.

Around the world, people engaged in society experience anxiety that allows convincing, competing and controlling others. People undergo internal challenges and focusing on managing oneself opens the door to how we manage others.

By following a regimen of TEAR will allow you to trail your principle and passion. The TEAR is an acronym for Tolerate, Encourage, Appreciate, Respect – your vision of life. (It will help you to find yourself and figure out what you need.)

If you can’t define yourself, you will be gradually inaccurately defined by others. Right now, if you are unhappy? You gave consent to others to yield power in your life to decide what’s best for you. You are living the life that serves their opinions and how they want you to live your life. Today I came across a quote in the early morning that read- “Don’t trade who you are for who you think the world needs because the world needs you to be you.”

So take responsibility by eliminating all the excuses and pieces of advice that is served to your plate.

Listen, I know why you chose to come here, you’re scared, but you can handle this. You need to learn to make decisions that will help you prioritise what really matters and what makes you happy. Once you make decisions for yourself the doors of opportunities that is meant for you will open. 

PS: I just turned 20 last month and I had no clue or plan of writing this piece. But I found so many of them clueless and dissatisfied with anxiousness. If you have reached the end of this article, comment below your perspectives. I would love to hear them. Thank you! Have a great week ahead. Much love! 

Author’s Note:

Lately, I have been observing a lot of you commenting on my timeline. Thank you for those sweet words. And I appreciate you for taking the time to read and leave a comment. If you want me to write on any particular topic, please feel free to comment below. Have a great day ahead!



  1. Lavanya

    July 7, 2021 at 4:47 am

    Its amazing to see you like this , keep posting like this it’s really helpfull from your side

    • Ramya Velu

      July 7, 2021 at 3:21 pm

      Thank you for those kind words Lava! 🙂

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